Went to my naturopath today…

I found out that I have to take this awful liver detox stuff, it is like sand in water with mud stirred in…. 

 

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It is revolting and it has actually made me throw up just from the smell of it but it works amazingly. Along with that I have to take disgusting peppermint fish oil, tablets that actually hurt to swallow and about three other tablets twice a day along with my normal anxiety medication twice a day, more if I am really stressed, it apparently is pineapple flavored but I say it tastes more like vinegar, lemon and the texture of dirt. The only thing I do not like about natural medication is that everything tastes awful or has an awful texture! I find it very difficult to tolerate normal textures of foods, let alone the unpalatable textures of medication that I do not want in the first place, why do we not have hyposprays yet?!

-Carol Alice 😛

Self appointed ‘Autism Allies’….

I see so many of these. People who think that just because they know someone with autism, that gives them a right to speak for us…

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I may type instead of verbally communicate but that makes it no less a valid form of communication and it certainly does not make what I have to say less important or true. 

They advocate for what they want for autistic people, not what the autistic community wants.

Too often I see them trying to tell autistic people how to be autistic or even worse what it is like to be autistic when they have no clue.

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To add insult to injury, what they say is often wrong as well. They seem to think that because they can observe the outer shell of who we are they can guess what is going on inside, which is wrong, for me how I portray myself, my emotional state and how I feel about the situation are entirely different. 

They assume that know why we do certain things or what causes us to have meltdowns and I often just laugh because they could not be further from the truth. 

It makes me sad and angry to see them advocating for something and getting it so wrong. I do not believe that any publicity is good publicity especially in matters of autism because people are so gullible, and believe anything they are told, especially new parents that are looking for answers.  

It is perpetuating the myths and ignorance about us and frankly I am sick of it. Let us speak for ourselves, we have minds of our own and we are people too.

No person has the right to speak for another without their consent.

-Carol Alice. 

Actually beginning to feel happy…

Been dealing with depression for the past few weeks and I am finally beginning to feel better. Hope is resurfacing, dysphoria is dissipating and overall I am feeling pretty great! I mean I am sick as, I have not stopped sneezing all week and my throat feels like I tried to swallow swords but mentally I am very happy! 

-Carol Alice 🙂

I am MORE than autism….

This…this has never made sense to me. 

How can I be more than what I am? 

I AM AUTISTIC. 

It is who I am, it gives me my IQ, my ambitions in life, my interests, it makes me see the wonder in life….I can promise you I would not be the writer I am if I was not obsessed with science fiction. So, my autism makes me a writer, my writing makes me want to become a film director…I would not want to become a film director if I was not the one writing what I will direct, I would not be a writer if I was notobsessed with sci-fi, what gives me that obsession? AUTISM! 

It makes me who I am, without it I would not be me. 

-Carol Alice.